Facebook Detox

Ok so I’m going to “blog” now. I have never really cared much about blogs other than the really important ones that I care about. ha-ha. I have friends who are doing important things like going on the mission field & adopting. Now that is something worthy of “blogging” about.... my senseless need to voice my emotions not so much.

However, I’m now in this horrible phase of “Facebook Detox” & have this unexplainable need to have someone, anyone, to know a thought that has popped in my head in the form of a “status update” How in the world did I get here?!

Let me go back a little bit. I’ve felt for a while now that I needed to delete my Facebook account, & while this may sound insane to some, my fellow brothers & sisters will completely understand when I say that I felt it was the Lord leading me to do so. Now those of you who don’t understand what I’ve just said please know that I do not thing God thinks facebook itself is evil.  I’m sure there’s a lot of evil being done through it, bullying to the point of someone committing suicide, affairs, marriages & lives being destroyed daily on Facebook. That is not my reason for leaving though. I know there are some good things going on through fb (Facebook) as well. God just kept putting thoughts in my head like “What else could you be doing right now.” “You haven’t talked to so & so in months but you feel connected because you can go check out their fb page.” “Can you live without fb?” and a few more dealing with the fact I may not want to accept all the friend requests I get but have this horrible “I don’t’ want to hurt anyone’s feelings” thing inside. Then there’s of course the whole privacy issue & trying to keep up with who sees what. Finally yesterday morning I said ok I’m going to do it. I deactivated my account.

This brings me to now, day 1 without Facebook. At first I though this won’t be a big deal. It’s only fb right? Not anything major in my life like food or water or family, just fb. Ha-ha! I’m pretty much having withdrawals. I got up, took a shower, fed Hayden & myself & got a great bit of school work done. We played Bingo, went outside, & had lunch. All and all it’s been a great day. Very productive. However, every several minutes a “status update” pops in my head & I have NO IDEA what to do with it! What do I do? Tell it to Hayden? The dogs? Call someone just to say “We had the best day of school today & an awesome time playing games afterward.” Wait….. isn’t that what I used to do? Before the days of MySpace (back before it was too trashy) & Facebook I actually talked with others about my day, the ups & downs, & how theirs went. I didn’t jump online post an update, check out my friends, post a few comments, log off & wait for any notifications to come in to carry on the conversation. What in the world?! But an actually phone call would take too much time, right? What else am I doing since I already have done everything for the day? Wouldn’t it be better to have real connections with those near & dear to me?

Oh & by the way I took a really cute picture of Hayden on my phone. What do I do with it now? I couldn’t upload it to fb & for a moment I honestly had no idea why I took the picture in the 1^st place. Seriously?! Do I only take pictures thinking “Oh a perfect profile pic or one to upload to my album” really do I?  I couldn’t just take pictures of me having a wonderful time with my son to keep on my phone for my own pleasure could I? Isn’t that what I used to do? I can still set it as my wallpaper!

This whole thing is wearing me out. I’m actually in a state of frustration. I guess with any “habit” there is an adjustment period you have to go through. Therefore, I have started this blog as a means to “air” my thoughts, opinions, frustrations, joy, etc. I do have a little reservation in the fact I don’t think my opinion really matters a hill of beans. I can’t stand those self glorification blogs & pray this doesn’t turn into that. I just need an outlet at the moment.

I thought about just reopening my Facebook account. That would be much easier & less painful right? But now that I see how much fb was a part of my life I’m determined to not give in & break myself from being a “slave” if you will. I think it will be an emotional journey especially since fb had become this stay at home/husband travels all week/ homeschooling mom’s only outlet. I think God has bigger things than Facebook in mind for my “outlet” though & I’m excited to see where this adventure takes me. I’m also committed to remaining 100% open & honest with my feelings something I never truly felt comfortable doing on Facebook. I have no idea who will read this & it doesn’t really matter. That’s not the point. I’m pretending that no one will. I don’t want start thinking about what others will think & want to just let my thoughts flow. Maybe I will learn something in the process. That’s my goal.

Now I have to go pick out a “layout” to post this on my new blog. Oh how I did miss choosing my own layout from the MySpace days…….. Ha-ha!